One year ago today, I was sitting at my desk when I took the plunge and typed WordPress.com into the search bar. One year ago today, I suddenly decided what I wanted to do, and I clicked “create blog”. One year ago today, I started to share my thoughts and opinions with the world.
Well, not exactly the world. More like the people I sent links to and begged them to read and tell me they’re good. Lol #noshame. The start of this blog was a weird one. I had been writing short and vague opinion pieces about things that were going on in my life privately, when I discovered that I actually really enjoyed writing. Not the struggling-to-keep-to-the-word-limit kind of writing, but letting the words flow from my pen as they build up and verbalise whatever I’m feeling inside. It was a way of figuring out what it was that I was feeling. I couldn’t come up with the words in my head, but with a pen and paper, it seemed a lot clearer. And, I’m not going to lie. I thought these pieces were kind of good. I loved to read over what I had written, and bask in the fact that I had written those words. They came from me.
As these pieces were quite personal, they ended up collectively forming a quasi diary. But I still felt there was something there; in those words, and in my enjoyment from writing them.
I started to think ahead. I started to picture forming a life out of words. I started to imagine sharing these words.
But I couldn’t start a blog, no, no, no. Everyone has a blog these days, and no one would want to read what I say. No one would even click into it, because it would just be another girl with another blog. My stuff may have been good enough for my little notebook in my room, but certainly not good enough for the shark-tank that is the internet.
But I couldn’t shake the feeling that that was the next step for me. I toyed around with the idea of starting a blog for a while. I didn’t want to seem like another girl starting up a blog, because at the time I was beginning to see them everywhere. I didn’t want to succumb to the trend, and be brushed off as “another one”. But really, I didn’t want my stuff to be found.
Yet at the same time … I did want it to be found. Yeah. I know it makes no sense. I didn’t want people to read my writing, yet at the same time I was dying to share it. I was afraid of what people would say, but I was itching to hear their thoughts. I didn’t want to start a blog … but I kept going onto the WordPress website and exiting it again.
Seems all very dramatic and unnecessary for a blog, doesn’t it? I can’t really remember how I came to the decision to finally make one. I think I just gave myself a good kick up the ass and realised that I really did want to share my work, and lo and behold, we are somehow still here, one year later.
While the whole world may not be reading my words, some are. And to see my stats go up, even on a day when I haven’t published something, still sends a little thrill down me as I realise someone is on this site, reading my words.
(Igh. There’s enough cheese in this post to cover a large Apache so I might round it off soon).
This post is a celebratory post, and also a good-bye post too. No! Don’t go Clodagh, please keep sharing your feminist thoughts and rants with us. Pls, I hear you cry. Aw, my little fans. So sweet. But I ain’t going anywhere. This is probably going to be the last post on the blog as it is, because in a few days/weeks (depending on how much I want to procrastinate), the blog will change focus and appearance.
So I want to thank this little website, my very own space where not only I, but people around the world, come to hear what I have to say. My blog taught me that it’s okay to have thoughts and opinions, and that it’s even more okay to share them. Or rather, to want to share them. I learned that people do listen, even if it may not seem like it. I learned how people react and engage to my writing, receiving comments and messages from people I barely know. It showed me that maybe I was right all along when I thought there was something in my writing. It helped me go places I wouldn’t have gone before. If it wasn’t for this blog, I wouldn’t have spent a whole summer writing and getting my work published, and loving it. It taught me that maybe I’m on the right path, and that this, this blog, my love for words and writing, is much more than a hobby.
I titled this blog Just Some Things I Think: A Feeble Writing Attempt, because I was afraid to believe my work wasn’t feeble, that it was strong. But now, I think I may have to rethink that tagline.So one year on, here I am, finally believing in myself and my words. One year on, I’m getting ready to go down a new direction with my writing. One year on, I am writing on not only one, but two blogs. One year on, I’m even more ready to share my stuff with the world.
Happy birthday Just Some Things I Think.